A Soft Life For Strong Fertility
You probably never considered it…but your fertility is kind of like a luxury of the body, of your health. Because it is not a primary function of your immediate survival, it can be ignored and neglected in favor of other necessary body systems.
But when you want a baby more than life itself, that logic is lost on us. We would often do anything to have a baby. We would often sacrifice SO MUCH.
So how do you get your heart and body on the same page?
You basically have to convince your body that it is safe to get pregnant. You have to convince your body that there will be enough…resources…to go around for your ongoing health and the immense requirements of pregnancy. Especially, when it has been harder than you thought it would be to get or stay pregnant.
A soft life for strong fertility means that you are not living a life in crisis. That you are practicing ultimate self-care whenever possible. Return your body, mind, and spirit to a place of calm and ease.
You need to ask yourself these 3 questions to really look critically at your lifestyle and habits to see if your life is soft enough for strong fertility.
Am I eating enough of the right foods?
So many times we overestimate how healthy our eating habits are. Maybe we just look at our weight and think as long as I’m not gaining or losing my diet must be ok. So often I hear clients say “I eat pretty well” and then when I look at their food journal they have huge gaps in key nutrients.
Other times, we ignore food sensitivities and eat things that are harming us or putting a strain on our digestive system and internal environment. In doing so we deplete the good, healthy nutrients we do consume, to deal with the burden of the food that is harmful to us.
Your fertility hormones and adrenal hormones all rely on having the building blocks and piece required to sustain adequate levels. If your nutrition suffers, your hormones will suffer as well.
Is my body and health in distress?
This is also something I see a lot of. So many of us, especially as black women, we know how to endure. We know how to persevere. And yes, life happens and we get too busy for our health. We just end up accepting something we know is not normal, because it starts to be “normal for us”.
Things like
Crazy periods
Strange aches and pains
Hair loss
Low energy
Low sex drive
Crazy digestion
Bloating
Headaches/migraines
And some of these examples are directly reflecting hormone imbalance! And we are at a loss or confused when our fertility begins to deteriorate as well.
Overall, this is just your body trying to get your attention. Your body only has one way to communicate with you and that is through symptoms. They tend to start off quiet, not too disruptive, but if left unattended the volume will certainly turn up and you will be forced to pay attention.
Allergic reaction, your body is saying um um, i don’t like that. Fatigue, you need to sit your butt down. Getting sick all the time, you need to slow down. Look to your whole body health to make sure you are making it easy on your systems, making sure there is enough nutrition and energy to spare for fertility without being needed elsewhere.
Is my body under stress?
There is a very strong and very direct connection to your stress levels and your fertility. Again, it comes back to making sure your body feels safe. Safe enough to risk a pregnancy. Our body perceives stress as danger. Our stress reaction is to quickly remove ourselves from a dangerous physical situation. Unfortunately, our body cannot discern between physical and emotional danger.
And we tend to only think about stress in this way. As the external pressure from work or finances, or even our fertility. While those things need to be managed for sure, you need to look at internal stress too. Yes, you need to look at your life and pinpoint which areas are stressing you out but, also at how your body is functioning while managing the stress.
Internal stress comes from the reactions and systems in our body, called oxidative stress—the thing that antioxidants try to combat. Are your cells and tissues being attacked an a cellular level and damaged by the things your put in your body or the way we let external stressors go uncheck?
This is so vital for your fertility because your eggs are just another cell, not to mention cells make up the tissues of your uterus and your ovaries. The parts of your brain that are needed for your menstrual cycle and egg development are very sensitive to stress (internal and external)
All this this AND MORE are at risk when your internal environment is distressed, inflamed, and being attacked. And you may inadvertently cause this by your habits and your daily practices.
So what can you do?
These questions are all part of the calculations that your body is basically doing every cycle, every ovulation, every potential fertilization, every chance at implantation—every chance you have to get pregnant.
If necessary, your body will need to divert nutrition and energy from your womb to help in another area. Another area of health that you are neglecting—intentionally or unintentionally— that requires attention, but then are left wondering why you can’t get pregnant. Your body is trying to keep it together. So no, it’s not a good idea to get pregnant right now. And for some of us, we might get pregnant but there isn’t’ enough to sustain it.
So consider your whole body health. And consider getting out of your own way. Maybe your cycle is “good enough” so you think everything should be ok and you forget that your womb is not an island.
Consider what you do on a daily basis that contributes to your fertility. What actions do you take that are actively trying to restore it. Now also consider that all your other habits are may be actively harming. Think of as if nothing is neutral. It either harms or helps.
I often challenge my clients to write our their ideal fertiltiy routine when we first get started. Eventually, together we create their Ultimate Fertility Lifestyle, a set of habits—both lifestyle and dietary— that support their unique fertility.
You should try it.
Write out your average habits and highlight the ones that support your fertility. Now figure out how to convert those other habits into ones that support strong fertility.
If you need help, I welcome you to apply for the Make Every Egg Count program and we can do it together.
