Delayed Not Denied: What to do while you wait
None of this is fair.
And at times, it doesn’t even make sense. I know there were countless times I wondered “How did I get here??” But this is where I found myself, and I know it’s the same for you. Unused baby clothes and gear collecting in bins somewhere in the house. A growing age gap between your youngest and the next one you are hoping for. Feelings of helplessness because your body has turned its back on you for seemingly no reason at all.
Let me remind you of at least one shred of hope you can hold onto—until you are officially in menopause, it’s not over. There is a chance as long as there is a chance. Your body and fertility may not be doing what is expected of it right now but, there is a chance to set things right again.
But how?
I am very familiar with decision paralysis. Not sure which way to go so I do nothing instead, in essence making that my decision. Sometimes, it can serve a purpose. It buys time. And maybe this is where you find yourself. You know you have reached the end of your understanding and capability for “self help” and are looking for external support. But what should be your next step. What decision poses the least risk? What decision will help you get your rainbow baby?
Finding fertility support is a HUGE decision. It may take you months to be completely sure and comfortable with your decision. Seeking someone else’s help can feel like relinquishing control, putting your fate in someone else’s hands. You are risking a great deal of money, precious time on your biological clock, possibly another piece of your heart and sanity.
But we seek help all the time for lesser things that are out of our “wheelhouse”. No one expects you to know how to deal with fertility struggles! Any other medical issue we would gladly seek expert help but this you may be trying to white knuckle your way through, guessing or taking well meaning advice.
What to do while you wait?
Consider ALL the pieces
Slow down, take a break. It can sometimes be the best decision. While you wait reconnect with your body, mind, and spirit. We get so focused on taking this “fertility supplement” that we forget to manage our stress or unblock our limiting mindset, because we don’t consider the connection. We say “yes, I know I’m super stressed and there is tension in my marriage, but that’s because I can’t get/stay pregnant. I’ll deal with that later”. Not realizing the huge burden it is putting on our mind, body…and fertility.
Strong fertility takes more than a womb. It takes balance, the whole body working together as one. Mindset and stress are known contributors to illness and disease—have you heard of the placebo effect?
There are many pillars that support a strong foundation of fertility. You can’t green juice or exercise your way to pregnancy. While those may be key elements, there is a continuum of habits, and nutrients, and ease you must provide for your body to unblock fertility once again. Sometimes you just need to topple the first domino and everything will start to fall into place. But it takes time, holistic care is slow medicine.
Considering that it takes 120 days to fully develop an egg and prepare it for ovulation….you got time. And it will pay off, but only if you use it wisely. So even if you think you’ve tried everything, consider for a second that there may be something you missed. That there may be support you need to help you find the missing piece and topple the first domino.
