The Secret to Fertility Confidence No Matter How Long You’ve Been Waiting

Why do you think it won’t happen for you?

I think this falls under the umbrella of how we are our own worst critic. We enthusiastically say “go best friend"!", but have the worst self-talk sometimes. Not to say it doesn’t make sense. You have your own history, list of proof that you think verifies your limited expectations. Oftentimes, you may not know anyone intimately, that you see as a success story. The woman who posted her pregnancy on IG is a stranger and her success doesn’t ring quite as true.

Shift your limiting beliefs

If you don’t understand the power of the mind by now I don’t know where you have been! Your thoughts are powerful tools. Ask yourself how it happened for other women, or how it happened for me (I try to share my story as often as I can for this exact reason). Was it luck? Or that my issue was an easy fix?

Let me clear one thing up…I AM NOT SPECIAL. And neither is that woman on the internet. You are not so uniquely unspecial to be denied your dream come true either. But our grief colors things in such harsh hues that its hard to see (think) clearly and objectively. That all there is. Lots and lots of grief, often unmanaged.

So you end up believing that you have no control over your fertility. That this is unfixable. You believe it will take a miracle, or some medical intervention to solve your problem.

You must become someone who believes in self

You must become someone who is intune with her body. You must find yourself, see yourself not broken, not hopeless and not helpless. We spend so many years hating our cycle, dreading it, hating our body, neglecting it, being hard on it then ask it to do this amazing and incredibly hard thing.

Belief is like a muscle. You must practice and be intentional if you want to shift your belief from “I won’t ever” to “Yes, I can get pregnant” “Yes, my body is able to carry a pregnancy to term”. Let’s not forget that represenation matters. You can’t be what you can’t see. So expose yourself to stories of hope and find other holistic practitioners and social medial pages like mine. And while you are at it unfollow those IVF pages for a while.

“When you witness what is possible with your own eyes you strengthen your belief and build the determination to get it for yourself.” (Wise words from my business coach). Find your possibility model. Then you will know it is possible because you’ve seen it.

How can you do this?

Never forget the power and control you have over your destiny. So even if you are scared—and you are allowed to be scared—do it scared! Step out on faith. Step out on your belief in yourself that you can do this, your body can do this, if set up for success. I promise you won’t regret it.

And it won’t be easy. Our minds are wired to resist even considering the “impossible” as a protective mechanism. A certain part of the brain shuts down to keep us from taking risk that could endanger us. Thankfully, another part of the brain acts as a counter balance, and actually kicks in when we imagine greatness in our future.

You have the power to train your brain. (Remember, belief is a muscle). What you water and nurture will grow. What you neglect will fade away. You want fear and doubt to quiet? Then deny them attention and their voices will fade to a whisper.

Let’s go back to proof. You certainly have proof that your body hasn’t stayed pregnant, or has struggled to get pregnant. But it ends there. What is your proof that it will NEVER happen? I’ll wait…. (Seriously make a list of proof for the past and proof for your future. I’m curious what, if anything, actually goes in the 2nd column)

If its hard right now then borrow my belief. Borrow my conviction. Because I believe enough for the both of us!

What’s my point?

My point is you can do hard things. You can survive hard things (you are still standing aren’t you?). And you certainly have more power and control than you think. Don’t dim that. Nurture that and let it blossom in your mind.

But to start making actually change in your fertility you must name and identify the issues first. What changed in you body since your last birth? What is your body and fertility needing that you aren’t giving it? How can you support your egg health, hormones, and whole body pregnancy readiness?

Stop and listen. You may be surprised what you hear.